Many years ago after an adult softball league game (in which I was not required to embarrass myself) we retired to the home of one of the regular players – it may have been Cletus. After eating pizza and drinking beer, I felt the need to evacuate. With the primary business done and the paperwork completed, I discovered the commode was not up to the task. I used available plunger and toilet bowl brush to no avail. Flushing the toilet after waiting for water level to recede each time do not help. Four. Five. Six. Even seven flushes had no effect. I had never heard of a poop knife, but I needed some sort of help! I saw that the bathroom window was equipped with the cheap plastic “Venetian-style” blinds that are available in a variety of widths but only one height – 92 inches. They come equipped with instructions for shortening the blinds. People are lazy and let the extra blind slats pile up neatly on the window sill. With my handy pocket knife, I extracted one slat from the pile of never-to-be-used blinds and used the end of it to separate the offending load in the bowl into smaller bits. It worked in on! Then I was faced with somehow discarding the sullied blind. But that, as they say, is another story.

Father, Uncle, and Uncle to the three cousins.